I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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