After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
