dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
