I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
is that a dick in a sweater?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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