Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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