this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
