im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
