Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Randomize
