We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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