It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
