Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
