Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
