So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
