Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
