We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
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