He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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