but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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