i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
