just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
