True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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