Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Randomize
