I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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