I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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