I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
