She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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