He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
