Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She tied me up with her honor cords...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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