It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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