My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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