White coat. Heels.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
