im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
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