Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Randomize
