Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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