I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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