Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
