you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
