I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
