Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
