I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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