dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
