It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
