I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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