Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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