I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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