So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
