i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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