you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
