I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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