so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
