ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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