these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
