I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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