That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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